Barry Alvarez, Wisconsin director of athletics, standing on the football field inside Camp Randall Stadium. The text

My Words: Reflections on my greatest day, my biggest regret and what comes next

By Barry Alvarez, Wisconsin director of athletics

Not long after I announced my retirement from Wisconsin Athletics, someone asked me a question that made me stop and think.

If I could relive any one of the days I’ve spent as football coach or director of athletics at UW, which one would it be?

That’s a hard one to answer. I’ve had so many tremendous experiences since I first brought my family to Madison more than three decades ago. Sixteen seasons as the football coach and the last 15 years as the full-time AD have put me in touch with a lot of really good people. I’m fortunate that some of them have become great friends and I’m grateful for the experiences we’ve shared.

MADISON, WI - SEPTEMBER 3: Head coach Barry Alvarez of the Wisconsin Badgers and his team take the field prior to the game against the Bowling Green Falcons at Camp Randall Stadium on September 3, 2005 in Madison, Wisconsin. The Badgers beat the Falcons 56-42. Photo by David Stluka.

A lot of unforgettable days have come and gone since January of 1990 when we began this journey together, so for me to try and narrow it down to one is not easy. I’m not good at reminiscing.

But the more I think about it, the more I keep coming back to that unusual day in Tokyo in 1993 when Wisconsin football finally became a championship program. We traveled halfway around the world to beat Michigan State and clinch our first Big Ten Conference title since 1962. The memories of being with those coaches and kids that had all bought into a vision four years earlier — we were 1-10 our first season together — is almost indescribable. 

University of Wisconsin head coach Barry Alvarez during the Michigan State game at Camp Randall Stadium, Madison, Wisconsin on 10/27/01. Michigan State beat Wisconsin 42-28.

Winning the Rose Bowl a few weeks later was an off-the-charts experience, of course, but that moment in Japan — being that far away in such a unique place, winning that game and clinching a spot in the best of all the bowls, then celebrating afterward with some of my good friends — was a moment I’ll never forget.

It was a night game, so I went out to dinner afterward with some good friends — Dan McCarney, Ted Kellner, Jimmy Kalscheur and Pat Richter were there — and then back to my hotel room. I think we were up all night just talking about the game and what was ahead. We were so euphoric. My adrenaline was still running hours after the game. I couldn’t go to sleep.

Winning made the long plane ride back home tolerable. I sat next to Mac (Dan McCarney), my defensive coordinator and one of my first hires. We talked about how we never varied away from our plan and the belief that we were going to get it done. We talked about the days ahead as we prepared to play UCLA in Pasadena, California. We sat there reminiscing and just kind of gloating. 

I never imagined that when we landed in Chicago in the early morning and our caravan of busses hit the Wisconsin-Illinois border that there would be people lined up honking their horns, flashing their lights and cheering from the side of the road. I never imagined that when we pulled into Camp Randall Stadium there would be thousands of people waiting to greet us. It was so overwhelming I didn’t even know what to say.

If I could turn back time to one moment in my football life with the Badgers, that would probably be it.

I spent the last 31 years doing two jobs that I enjoyed immensely. They’re different, but they also go hand-in-hand. I’m proud of the results.

Being a coach prepared me to run a major-college athletic department like the one here at Wisconsin. Both jobs demand that you make decisions. Some happen in the blink of an eye. Some happen after a great deal of thought and research. All have consequences and they affect a lot of people.

Barry Alvarez, Director of Athletics at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, stands at center field of Camp Randall Stadium on April 21, 2021. After 32 years at the University of Wisconsin, including a legendary beginning as head coach of Wisconsin football program and the final 18 years as the Director of Athletics, Alvarez announced on April 6 that he will officially retire on June 30, 2021. (Photo by Jeff Miller / UW-Madison)

Some people have a hard time making decisions. I don’t because I’m accustomed to it. In football, it’s a decision process that’s now, now, now. What are you going to do next? How are you preparing for that next decision? There are more layers in being the AD. We have 100s of people assigned to specific areas, but it all ends up on my desk.

I couldn’t tell you my best decision, but I can tell you one that I’d like to have back. 

Sometimes I second-guess whether I should have stayed in coaching longer and not retired in 2005. I was only 59 and I had a good deputy AD in Jamie Pollard overseeing the department. Looking back, I had a lot of fuel in the tank.

One of my mentors, Lou Holtz, used to say that seven years is usually the limit for a college coach to stay in one place. He said you lose a percentage of supporters after every season and eventually it catches up to you. Maybe for Lou that’s right, but I think my situation was different. We were just getting going here after seven years.

I’ve had a lot of challenging decisions to make over the years, both as a coach and as AD. There were some opportunities to leave here where I had to really think about it. It wasn’t a snap decision — yes, no, I’m interested or I’m not interested — but you put a lot of thought into it. 

I remember the first people I had to let go after becoming coach of the Badgers. I was just tortured. I’d never fired anyone before, so the first time you do it it’s difficult. I called Lou. I said, “I have some guys who can’t keep up and I’ve got to let them go. I haven’t slept for two weeks.”

He talked me through it. He said, “Don’t lose another night of sleep. You have an obligation to the university and to your team. If they can’t keep up, then it’s your responsibility to make that move.”

Whenever I had a difficult decision to make, I’d bounce things off my wife, Cindy. I’d also visit with friends, people I trust, or I’d take a drive.

Barry Alvarez, Director of Athletics at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, is pictured in his office in Kellner Hall on April 21, 2021. After 32 years at the University of Wisconsin, including a legendary beginning as head coach of Wisconsin football program and the final 18 years as the Director of Athletics, Alvarez announced on April 6 that he will officially retire on June 30, 2021. (Photo by Jeff Miller / UW-Madison)

My time at Wisconsin began with a unique challenge and it will end with one. Rebuilding a football program almost from scratch and dealing with a global pandemic are two very different tasks.

The big difference between 1990 and 2020 is that everybody’s dealing with the same thing with regards to COVID, whether it’s finances, morale, protecting your people and the loss of competitive opportunities. I feel terrible for the student-athletes who worked so hard only to have their dream moments taken away from them.

In ’90, you had a smaller stick than the guy you’re fighting with and that’s really hard. You know it’s going to take time and you know you’re going to get a few spankings. You’ve just got to fight through it. If you’re not accustomed to it, that’s really hard.

I’ve told this story before about my first season as coach. After meeting with the players and my coaches, I’d often close the door to my office so even the program assistants couldn’t see me, then lay down on my couch in a fetal position because I just ached. Because you were helpless. You couldn’t do anything. Yet you had to be strong. Your players have to keep playing. Your coaches have to believe that there’s a future.

Turns out we definitely had one.

I recently had my senior staff and other people from all walks of our department at our house. I was struck by how well everyone from all walks knew each other and related to one another. We have longevity here. People get along with one another and trust one another. That’s hard to come by.

One of the things I’m proudest of is our culture within UW Athletics. I’ve tried to make it like a team atmosphere. We have people in positions where they enjoy the jobs they do. Everyone has a role to play and it’s important regardless of what their responsibility might be. Their role is important to us and everyone counts on everyone else to do their job. So when the football team wins a game, everybody within the department — whether you’re a custodian, whether you work in the cafeteria or you’re a program assistant — you’ve had something to do with that.

Cindy and Barry Alvarez during his final football game inside Camp Randall Stadium

I think it helps that I’ve always had upward mobility in the ranks, elevating people who’ve done a good job in the department. All in all, I think our culture is doing things the right way. We know who we are. Sometimes you can take that for granted, but I think people are happy and satisfied here.

People ask if I’m really ready for retirement. There’s no doubt in my mind. This isn’t hard for me. I like coming into work every day. I enjoy what I do. But it’s time. I’m 74.

Cindy is researching a trip around the world and we’re planning on a family get-together in Spain, where my family has roots. But I’m in no hurry to find things to do.

That doesn’t mean I’m shutting it all down. I’m moving into a smaller office on the fifth floor of Kellner Hall. I’m going to be available to help Chris McIntosh, the new director of athletics, but it’s his team now.

Some big changes are happening in college football and I’ve made a commitment to be involved. Kevin Warren, the Big Ten commissioner, asked me to serve as a liaison between him and the ADs and football coaches. It keeps me involved in the game and keeps me relevant. It’s exciting. It’s right in my wheelhouse.

It will be fascinating to see how this idea of a 12-team playoff unfolds. At first blush, I like it. My one slight hesitation is the number of games that teams might have to play. I remember former Ohio State coach Urban Meyer talking about how worn out his kids were after playing a conference championship and then two more rounds to win the national title. This adds at least one more game; maybe two.

Barry Alvarez, Director of Athletics at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, is pictured in his office in Kellner Hall on April 21, 2021. After 32 years at the University of Wisconsin, including a legendary beginning as head coach of Wisconsin football program and the final 18 years as the Director of Athletics, Alvarez announced on April 6 that he will officially retire on June 30, 2021. (Photo by Jeff Miller / UW-Madison)

We used to take pride in the fact that every game mattered in college football and I think we’re going to get back to that. Games late in the year are going to be important. A lot of people have an opportunity to get their foot in the door to the championship. You’re going to include more bowl games, so they’re going to be important.

I like the fact you could play your first game on campus sites. I hear people grumbling about it. Not me. I’d like, for once, to see a northern team have home-field advantage and make those southern teams come up and play in cold weather.

Where do I see Wisconsin Athletics 10 years from now?

I see it continuing the success that we’ve achieved and, hopefully, taking it another step forward.

Maintaining is hard. The challenge now is to adapt to change. Adapt to Name, Image and Likeness. Adapt to the new recruiting rules and transfer rules. Adapt to all those things instead of being afraid of them and complaining about them.

I’m grateful to all fans of the Badgers for their support. I would remind everyone that winning is hard, but there’s no reason why it can’t continue here.

On, Wisconsin. 

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