My Words: Work, Love, Give

My early introduction to community and people who were different than me was in my own home growing up in Indianapolis. I’m one of eight in a blended family. All are my half siblings and some of us have birthdays 20 years apart. 

My dad Charles, one of 12 kids, was big on hard work and integrity from his time in the Army and insisted we all put our best foot forward. My mom, Kimberly, one of four kids, made sure we grew up in the church. As a child, this meant church on Sundays and bible study on Wednesdays. But as an adult, I now understand it was much more than that. It was about learning how to love people and the importance of giving to others.

I truly believe that our big blended family works because we all had similar goals: love each other, show up for one another and celebrate one another. There were conflicts, of course, but because everyone had that same mindset, it worked.

We’re really close as a family. At the end of the day, if I really need something, I know without a doubt I can call anyone and they’ll come help. That’s why family, community and relationships are so important to me. Growing up in that environment definitely influenced who I am today as it relates to relationships and community, but also in the sense of understanding that families can be whoever you want them to be.

What’s inspiring about my family is that we do a really good job of understanding that we might not all agree on everything and we might not all have the same perspective, but at the end of the day we’re able to say that we all want the best for one another. Whatever that looks like, whatever the best is for each unique individual, we say, “We want that for you.” Even when conflict does happen, we do a great job of reverting back to our center and asking, “What’s best for you?”

It’s important to recognize that everybody needs and wants something different. People might have different perspectives, different experiences, different thoughts about something, but that’s ok. In fact, that’s what we want. The next step is trying to understand and starting to have meaningful dialogue about it.

I grew up loving sports, especially basketball. It put me on a path to a Division I career at Northern Illinois and a series of learning opportunities.

DeKalb was where I really came into my own academically – I got my undergrad and master’s there – and emotionally. It was my first time away from my family and the first time I truly had to work towards a common goal with people who had a different upbringing than myself. Some kids were from big cities. My roommate was from a small town in Illinois. The things I learned from my teammates were integral in me learning about myself.

My next stop was the University of Memphis. I loved it there, but I struggled at the outset. From a racial lens, I saw other Black people, but I still didn’t feel a true sense of belonging. It took me a while to find community. This is when I truly started to understand intersectionality and how relevant it is to each person. All of my identities impact the way I experience and navigate the world.

When I interviewed for my new role as the University of Wisconsin’s assistant athletic director for diversity and inclusion, I didn’t know too much about Madison, but everybody I spoke to said it was a great place. Do I wish it was more diverse? Absolutely. Diversity, of all types, isn’t just some nice thing to have, it’s necessary. There is no doubt that diversity positively impacts an entire city, its businesses and, most importantly, the people who live there.

When the opportunity came up at UW, I was the assistant athletic director for student-athlete services and the diversity and inclusion designee at Loyola (Chicago). I was immediately attracted for several reasons.

Wisconsin was one of the first athletic departments that housed an inclusion and engagement department. This was a clear indication that the administration is serious about creating change.

Before Kevin Warren stepped down recently as Big Ten Conference commissioner, he made it clear that diversity and inclusion were major items on the league’s agenda, so I knew it was also a priority for the conference office and commissioner. 

A memorable moment for me during the interview process came when my partner and I went to dinner with UW director of athletics Chris McIntosh and deputy AD Marcus Sedberry. There we were, sitting across the table at dinner with Mac and Marcus, all four of us with very different experiences and backgrounds. Though I knew we were all different, what I felt was that we all wanted similar things.

I have this curiosity about what Madison has to offer and I want to experience that with as many people as possible. An aspect of this role that really excites me is how closely I get to work with our Badgers Give Back team in the community and with our student-athletes and staff. 

After moving to Madison, I had the opportunity to attend two events at the Goodman Community Center. First, volunteering with fellow Badgers for a holiday food drive. And later, I also attended an engaging speaking panel event titled “Women Leading The Way." The panel consisted of all women including several women of color, all of whom were CEOs. To see and participate in these events during my first month in Madison affirmed that this was a place I could thrive and make an impact.

Evidence of that came last month during our inaugural Pride Game featuring our women’s basketball team at the Kohl Center. An older woman approached and thanked me for helping to put on such a great event celebrating the LGBTQ+ community. “I never thought I’d see something like this here,” she said. I appreciated hearing her feedback on the event, but like her, I also enjoyed seeing so many people living in their truth and sharing in this experience.

The work we do related to diversity and inclusion at UW can never be about ourselves. It always has to be about other people — student-athletes, staff, fans, campus and community partners. It always has to be about extending the table and adding extra chairs for others. It’s about advocating for people, building community and challenging the status quo.

One of my favorite quotes is from the artist Jay Z, who said, “We measure success by how many people are successful next to you.”

What if everybody around us starts to feel like they can be who they are – feel like they can thrive here, feel like they have community, feel like they are valued for all of who they are – to me that’s success.

Did you enjoy reading this? Read more My Words stories from the Badgers here.