My Words: Struggle, Opportunity and New Hope in a New Season

When I transferred to Wisconsin in 2021, my agenda was pretty straight forward. I wanted to play a lot of football. I wanted to be seen as a great player. Then I wanted to leave for the NFL after my junior season.

I had my mind set on being one-and-done and, for the better part of that year, I believed I was in position to do that. I had just over 800 yards rushing through the first nine games and was on pace for 1,200 and eight touchdowns.

I had come to a new city, a new school with new teammates and embraced the feeling of trying to be accepted, trying to prove myself all over again and earning a starting job in the process. I thought I had checked all those boxes.

Then, as if on cue, my whole world began to move in another direction.

I tore the ACL in my left knee against Rutgers, which ended my season and ruined any realistic hopes I had of turning pro. It was first time in my life that I had a traumatic injury. It also was the first time I’d ever given into self-doubt. It was a tough moment that was soon to get more challenging.

I was still deep into my rehab that spring when my position coach, Gary Brown, died of cancer. He was one of the big reasons I came to Wisconsin in the first place, so my offseason became even more of a grind.

I was back in time for the 2022 season opener, but five games in, my teammates and I experienced one of the most shocking and disruptive moments of our Badgers careers when our coach, Paul Chryst, was fired.

He was another reason I wanted to come here and the connection we had was one of mutual respect. It hurt a lot of us. It was tough because we had almost a whole season ahead of us. People think we’re just football players, that we have agendas, but we come to places like UW for a reason and Coach Chryst was one of those reasons for a lot of guys.

A week later, I broke my right arm against Northwestern and missed four games. Talk about a struggle.

After that, it became a waiting game at the end of the season to see who our next coach would be. I wouldn’t say that was tough, but sometimes new things are different and sometimes the unknowns are difficult for some to handle. That’s how it was when Coach Fickell was hired.  

I look back on that strange, painful time following my transfer from Clemson and think about what I didn’t do well. I didn’t do a very good job of being vulnerable, of making sure I was doing a great job of being a good teammate.

I was the new kid here. I didn’t have a great connection with my teammates. I didn’t go to away games after my knee injury. I’d just sit in the press box and be by myself, alone.

I was determined to make changes in how I approached my game, my teammates and my coaches during my third season in Madison. I made sure I did a good job of connecting with the team. That whole offseason, besides just rehabbing, my goal was to become a better teammate. And I believe I did that.

At the same time, it felt like I had transferred again because I had to prove myself to a whole new group of coaches.

I thought I had a great camp last fall and was playing some of my best football at the start of last season when I broke my left leg against Purdue. Once again, I was reminded about how my plans didn’t always go hand-in-hand with God’s plan.

I talked to everyone in my life — those whose opinions mattered most to me — and every one told me I should return for one more season in 2024.

So, here I am.

This time, my rehab was very different compared to my ACL. I went to every road game, crutched around on the sidelines and made myself available to all my teammates, but especially the guys in the running backs’ room. Coach Fick and Coach Spalding thought it was important that I be there and be involved.

I was asked once what lessons I’ve learned from my all my injuries. Well, I wasn’t necessarily taking things for granted at the time they occurred, but they put my life into perspective for me on how quickly the game can be taken away from you. I could have been doing things a lot better. That knee injury especially gave me such a different outlook on life.

I believe I’ve grown tremendously as a person and a leader. I’ve always been a leader by how I played and how I carried myself. It came naturally to me.

I have to be around and show the coaches and players what my priorities are. I have to show them that I really care about them, the team, and about being the best version of myself. I have to show the coaches that I can be accountable.

In its own interesting way, football gives you a taste of what life is all about. It’s not always exactly how you think it’s going to go. Obviously, you have goals and all these things that come to mind and are going to happen. Sometimes it takes a little time. It’s not always going to happen as fast as you’d like. None of it was in the cards for me initially. 

Who’s to say that after my sixth year that I won’t be ready for that opportunity should it come along?

I believe that moment is at hand not only for me, but this team. 

I’ve challenged myself to come back better than ever. I look forward to being a leader along with guys like Jake Chaney, Jack Nelson and Hunter Wohler. 

I look forward to voicing how I feel.

Did you enjoy reading this? Read more My Words stories from the Badgers here.