Lucas at Large: Rashard Griffith keeps Moore family front and center
November 21, 2019 | Men's Basketball, Mike Lucas, Varsity Magazine
Badger alum helping family of UW Assistant Coach
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BY MIKE LUCAS
UWBadgers.com Senior Writer
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Ninety minutes before a pregame video and ceremony honoring Wisconsin assistant coach Howard Moore and his family, Rashard Griffith stepped away from Moore's parents, Trennis and Howard, Sr. — with whom he had spent most of the day — and took a seat on a folding chair outside the locker room at the Kohl Center.
"The tribute is going to be good," he said, "but it's going to be hard at the same time."
As the players began arriving for their home opener against Eastern Illinois on Nov. 8, the 45-year-old Griffith spoke on his long, endearing friendship with Moore ("I've known Howard since I was a freshman in high school"), his heartbreak over the tragedy ("To me, it's still like I'm living a nightmare") and his role in looking after 13-year-old Jerell ("We're taking the right steps to help him out").
Jerell calls him "Uncle Rashard" or just "Uncle Shard."
Jaidyn Moore called him that, too.
Jaidyn, 9, was killed in the Memorial Day weekend car accident along with her mom, Jennifer.
"Jen and Jaidyn were a big part of the Badger family," Griffith was saying now. "I've known Jen since I was a freshman in college when her and Howard first started dating. She's pretty much been my sister and one of my biggest supporters from that day on. There are not enough words in our vocabulary to describe Jen and what she meant, not just to me but other people."
As he started to talk about Jaidyn, he lowered his head, and said, "Oh, my goodness. I'm tearing up right now … (pause) … Jaidyn was just a loving little girl. Howard would walk into the house and she'd run over to him and jump in his lap. That was daddy's girl. Everyone I know that was around Jaidyn loved her. When she'd walk by me, I'd say, 'Where's my kiss at?' And she'd kiss me on the cheek …"
He paused again to collect himself. That afternoon, he had helped Trennis move some things around at her son's home in Middleton. "Even to this day," Griffith confided, "I'm thinking Jen is going to walk through that door with Jaidyn from a volleyball tournament. It hasn't hit me yet and I don't know when it's going to hit or how it's going to hit me or affect me.
"At this point in time, I'm just trying to stay strong and be strong for the family."
When Griffith moved back to Madison, he lived with the Moores and he'd babysit for Jerell and Jaidyn. In fact, Howard and Jen are the main reason that he returned to school, at age 42, after playing basketball internationally for nearly two decades. Right now, he's on track to graduate in May from Wisconsin keeping a promise that he made to his late mom Elaine and, of course, to Howard and Jen.
"Even when I was still playing (in Europe), Howard would say to me, 'Hey, you need to get your big butt back here and get your degree,'" Griffith said with a grin at the memory of his friendly chiding. "Jen also stayed on me to come back to school and when I needed help with my homework, or whatever it may be, she was there to help me out. She was really my sister, just like Howard is my brother.
"We had sat down a few weeks before all the accident happened and Howard was like, 'When you graduate, you need to sit down and do your book and we'll do a documentary. Your story needs to be told. I want people to know what they don't know about you.' He'd lean on me and I'd lean on him. That's what brothers do even though we're not biological brothers.
"Like mom (Trennis) said, 'I might not have birthed you, but you're mine.'"
There was something else that Trennis mentioned to Griffith that hit home.
"She was like, 'I had no idea that my son was loved by so many people,'" he said, adding, "To see mom with a smile on her face and pops with a smile on his face — being out in public for the first time in a long time — is a good thing because they know Howard is doing better."
During the pregame ceremony, Trennis thanked everyone for the "love and support that they had given us." She went on to share one of Howard's favorite lines, "Once a Badger, always a Badger." Moments later, Jerell, who was wearing his dad's No. 34 on a Wisconsin jersey, was introduced along with the starters. On this night, he was the de facto Sixth Man and an inspiration to all.
"Jerell is a 13-year-old kid who just wants to be with his friends and play video games," said Griffith, who has squared off with him in Xbox and Playstation. "He keeps to himself a lot and he doesn't show his emotions outwardly or anything like that. Right now, he's OK. Mom and pops are doing a wonderful job keeping him engaged … everyone is doing their part and what they can."
Meanwhile, Griffith has not been surprised by the outpouring of support for Howard. Especially from the coaching fraternity. "I've talked with Monty Williams, who lost his wife," he said of the Phoenix Suns coach. "I've talked with Stan Van Gundy and his brother Jeff, and with Coach (Stu) Jackson and Isiah Thomas … Howard was a guy that brought people together. That's just who he is as a person."
During the healing process, Wisconsin head coach Greg Gard has been sensitive to how Griffith has been dealing with his own grief. "As much as Rashard has helped everyone else heal," Gard said, "we're also concerned about Rashard. He's a gentle giant and he doesn't usually show it. But he's got emotions, too, and I know this has been hard on him."
Along with Michael Finley and Tracy Webster, Griffith was part of that 1994 core group under Stu Jackson that got Wisconsin back into the NCAA tournament after a 47-year absence. The 6-foot-11, 280-pound Griffith dominated the low block while playing two seasons for the Badgers. Leaving school after his sophomore year, he embarked on a pro basketball journey that took him all over the world.
"I like to joke that he's now the country's largest student manager," Gard said. "I always like to have people around who understand the history of the program and where it has come from because they can give the younger guys a little perspective. He has been a very good voice at needed times.
"It's awesome that he would come back almost 25 years later to finish up his degree — awesome to have that type of motivation and dedication — and it will be special to honor him on Senior Night."
Nobody will be prouder of that moment than Howard Moore.
