Just Almost Perfect: Joel Stave's journey has been the ride of a lifetime
December 30, 2015 | Football, Mike Lucas
Through highs and lows, quarterback has put together a career that has been all he could ask for
How do you define Joel Stave? Hard-working walk-on? Hard-luck case turned comeback kid? All of the above? If it feels to you like the Badgers' quarterback has crammed a lifetime's worth of experiences into a five-year college career, it certainly feels that way to him. That's why, with a degree in hand, 30 wins to his credit and an NFL dream yet to chase, Stave considers his run at Wisconsin — the highs and the lows — to be the experience of a lifetime.  | From Varsity Magazine
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BY MIKE LUCAS
UWBadgers.com Senior Writer
Golf clubs. A Yamaha acoustic guitar. The beach.
Those are the first three things that come into focus when you walk into Joel Stave's campus apartment — a small efficiency — not far from Camp Randall Stadium.
On his coffee table is a book of Sudoku puzzles and a national bestseller, Lone Survivor: The Eye Witness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10.
There are couple of apples, some yogurts and bottled water in his refrigerator. Not much else.
There's an old clock-radio on his nightstand. He wakes up every morning to country music.
A stack of baseball caps sits on the floor by his bed.
A strand of Christmas lights adorn his window sill.
Stave lived by himself during the fall semester, the first time that he's gone solo in five years. And there was a practical reason behind the move — as there is behind nearly everything that he does.
He didn't want to stick his most recent roommates/teammates — tight end Eric Steffes and defensive tackle Jake Keefer — with a potential stranger when sub-letting the second semester.
Armed with his civil engineering degree, and a lifetime of memories as a four-year starter, Stave is planning on training off-campus (Pensacola, Florida) in preparation for chasing his NFL dream.
With a victory over Southern Cal in the Holiday Bowl — what would be his 31st in 41 career starts — Stave would leave as the winningest quarterback in school history, breaking a tie with Brooks Bollinger.
"It wasn't easy, it wasn't always fun, it wasn't always exactly what I thought it would be," Stave confessed. "But, in many ways, it was exactly the way I wanted my college career to go."
When he does go, can anyone say they really got to know him? What do we know about Joel Stave? Visiting his apartment offered some perspective. So did conversations with family and friends.
"He's very smart, a tough, composed guy," said wide receiver Alex Erickson. "He's always composed, always in control of himself. You see it on the football field. You see it in his daily life.
"He's the same guy every single day. He's very sincere and he takes a lot of pride in what he does. He knows what he's doing. He knows how to do it. And he does it well."
Another wide receiver, Jordan Fredrick, a fifth-year senior, had a similar take.
"He's your poster boy — he's such a good person; he's nice to everybody," he said. "He's confident. He's smart. He's doing it right whether in the classroom or in his social life.
"He's a guy you want under center. He's a guy you don't have to worry about ever. He's a guy you don't have to keep an eye on. He's just almost perfect."
Over the years, Fredrick has noticed some changes in Stave as the result of the scrutiny that comes with such a high-profile position. Russell Wilson didn't help by putting the bar out of reach.
"He was a little more cheerful in the beginning," Fredrick suggested. "With the criticism that he has received, I wouldn't call him shy, I just think he's a little more reserved now.
"He's the quarterback of the Wisconsin Badgers, and the whole state is watching. When things go well, they love you. When things go bad, they don't. He realizes that."
• • • •
The golf clubs. The bag is resting against his dresser.
"I'm getting a lot better; I'm around a bogey golfer, 45 through nine (holes)," Stave said. "My dad always tried to get me into it when I was younger.
"But it was too slow-paced for me when I was in elementary and middle school. It wasn't truly until I got to college that I got into golf. That's when I first got my clubs."
A couple of weeks ago, Stave and Steffes took advantage of the unseasonably warm weather to play nine holes at Odana Hills, a public golf course on Madison's west side.
"They paired us with two older guys," Stave related. "They both said that they grew up with Coach (Paul) Chryst. That was kind of interesting."
The Yamaha acoustic guitar is in a stand, alongside of his golf bag.
"It's a cheap one," he said. "I got it when I was in high school. Probably cost 60 dollars. It's a good one to learn on. At some point, I'll probably get myself a little better one.
"I play a couple of times a week, not a lot. But when I hear a song I like, or a song I used to know how to play and I haven't played for awhile, I'll sit down and do that."
The beach. He has posters of white sand beaches hanging from three of his walls.
"He's a guy you want under center," Fredrick said. "He's a guy you don't have to worry about ever. He's a guy you don't have to keep an eye on. He's just almost perfect."
"I got that one," he said pointing to the one closet to his door, "my freshman year when I moved into the dorms. I lived with Derek Watt and he had his own pictures and stuff on the wall.
"My wall had nothing on it. So I went to the poster store on State Street and I picked that one up. I've always loved the beach — with the nice blue water."
Stave has been to Cancun and the Caribbean. He would like to get to Hawaii someday.
There's a beach scene hanging over his couch. There's another one next to his bed.
The one he sees every time he leaves his apartment has a title — Relax — and makes a statement.
Remember Aaron Rodgers' famous line? Purely happenstance. But it resonates with all QBs.
Stave doesn't do crossword puzzles. But he's hooked on Sudoku, a logic-based numbers game.
"I had always played it on my iPad," he said. "But I got this (Sudoku book) after I got my concussion against Illinois. I heard doing stuff like this is good for your brain."
Needing only three credits to graduate last semester, Stave had more free time to read.
"It's not something I've ever really been into," he said. "But it's good for you."
So he figured that he should start reading more. He's almost done with Lone Survivor.
"I really like it a lot," he said. "I got it from Coach Chryst, who recommended it."
He also has read The Traveler's Gift: Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success.
The Andy Andrews book made the New York Times bestseller list.
"I also got that one from Coach Chryst," Stave said. "I don't know how much time he spends reading. But he has got some good ones."
Who knew that the blue-collar Chryst, the anti-"touchy-feely" coach, had such literary tastes?
"He's a lot deeper than he sometimes comes off, especially in interviews," said Stave, who's obviously aware of Chryst's general disdain for talking about himself in a formal media setting.
"He's not the most talkative guy. He's not going to be the guy saying everything to everybody on how he feels and how the thinks."
But he relates to players, especially to quarterbacks, especially to Stave.
"It's kind of funny how it all has kind of come full-circle for me," Stave said. "He was the guy who recruited me, along with Coach (Bob) Bostad (UW's former offensive line coach)."
Stave had one scholarship offer to Western Michigan and a walk-on invitation to Wisconsin.
"He (Chryst) was the one coach in my mind that really stuck out," said Stave, who couldn't help but think, "I can really see myself getting along with this guy and working well with him."
But he was thrown a curveball. Chryst took the Pittsburgh coaching job after Stave's freshman season.
"So, obviously, I was disappointed to see him go — since I never really got a chance to play for him," said Stave, who redshirted his first year.
"And then, boom, my senior year, and he's coming back. It's just so much fun to work with him, and Jon Budmayr (a former UW quarterback and current graduate assistant on offense).
"I feel really comfortable hanging out in the office with them — talking football and watching film and everything like that. The relationship that we've had over this year has been really good."
Chryst and Budmayr have established a positive and fun working environment, he noted.
In a word? "They just make it more…" Stave said, "….relaxed."
• • • •
There are two framed pictures on the shelving above the flat screen TV in the apartment.
One is of Holly, the family dog, Joel's dog for about 15 years. Actually, Joel and his mom, Barb, grew the most attached to the Lhasa Apso. They had to put Holly down last March.
The other picture is of the family — Team Stave — Bryan, Joel, Rachel, Karl and Barb.
Bryan Stave, a 2013 UW grad, is 16 months older than his younger brother, Joel, who's 23 (going on 24 in May). Bryan, who lives near campus, not that far from Joel, is a financial analyst for Epic Systems.
Bryan put out an album "Tell Me," a mix of cover songs and originals. A YouTube video of the Stave Boys singing and performing to "Everything Has Changed" was released last August.
As for Rachel Stave, everything did change on Sept. 14, 2013.
"I was sitting around the hotel the morning of the Arizona State game," Joel said, "and I was getting texts from people, 'Hey, what happened to Rachel? Is Rachel OK?'"
He had no idea what they were talking about until his dad, Karl, filled in the blanks on what was going on with his younger sister, a freshman diver on the Wisconsin swimming team.
Karl Stave just didn't tell his son everything, knowing that he had a big game to play that night against the Sun Devils. He didn't mention anything about Rachel breaking her neck.
"He just said, 'She had a little bit of a diving accident, don't worry about it, she's fine,'" Joel recalled. "That Sunday, my parents came to town to see Rachel and told me what happened."
Rachel, a state champion diver, injured her neck during a dry land training session. Less than two weeks later, she had surgery to repair the chip fracture of a vertebra.
"That was pretty scary," Joel admitted.
Nobody was more supportive of Rachel during her recovery than Joel.
"He was just so solid for her," Barb Stave said of her son. "She'd see him and she'd know it was going to be okay because Joel has always been that in our family — he has been the glue.
"We all kind of turn to Joel during difficult times because he's so solid. His word is his word, and always has been. His faith in the Lord shines through in who he is as a person. I couldn't be prouder."
Joel Stave helped his sister with all of the little things.
"I offered to carry her backpack and hang out and talk with her," he said. "It's tough when you're a competitive athlete like Rachel, who was as good of a high school diver in the state of Wisconsin as there has been for a long time.
"She was very much into her sports and she was really good at them. For anyone to have to give it up — not on their own terms — is tough. It was tough for all of us to see her have to go through that. So I just tried to be there for her whenever I could."
Rachel, an excellent student, is now a junior in the UW business school.
"I see her once in a while and we usually go to church on Sundays," said Joel, who also attends a power flow yoga class that his sister teaches every Thursday morning at 7 a.m.
"With a lot of the balancing poses, your legs and hips are burning. But it's a great way to work on your balance and flexibility and it's something different from a football workout or weightlifting."
Does Wisconsin's starting quarterback get recognized in the yoga class?
"If they do know me," he said, "no one ever says anything."
Joel Stave tends to take everything in stride. He gets that from his dad, a civil engineer.
"He's laid back and I think my personality and his are very similar in that we think things through and we're both very realistic," Joel said. "He's very composed, very level-headed.
"He never really yells, he's not a yeller — except for a couple of times when me and my brother would be fighting or something like that."
"Joel has always believed in himself, he has always believed that he could get it done," Karl Stave said. "But he's tougher than I thought he was, both physically and mentally. He has been through a lot."
Karl Stave is a quick learner. "He redid our basement and our whole kitchen; he's really good with his hands," Joel said. "He has been cutting my hair my whole life. He just kind of figures it out."
Barb Stave is more sociable.
"She can hold a conversation with anybody," Joel said.
He remembered his mom accompanying him to a one-day summer high school camp in Madison where he threw for Chryst, then the offensive coordinator under head coach Bret Bielema.
"I thought things went really well," he recounted. "He (Chryst) liked me and I liked him a lot. He said they were having another camp the next week and asked if I wanted to come back."
Before he could answer, his mom blurted out, "Oh, boy, we can. We have nothing going on."
She's just a little bit more excitable than her husband.
"I usually try to keep her from jumping off the ledge," Karl kidded.
Joel Stave laughed when relayed that comment.
"They're a good mix," he said. "My dad being very composed, very relaxed, and my mom is excitable. They're different. But I really like the balance that they have.
"When things aren't the way she wants them to be, when things aren't looking right, she will be the first one to get in there and say, 'Hey, this isn't right. This is what we need to do. This is what we need to change.'
"I think it's a great way to be. And that's something I can keep getting better at and I can take from her — I can take that assertiveness and that little bit of aggressiveness when you need it. I've tried to learn from her."
Both of his parents have learned from him, they insisted, and about him.
"Perseverance" was a word that Karl Stave brought up. "Joel has always believed in himself, he has always believed that he could get it done," he said.
"Football means a lot to him. He hasn't always been held in high regard by some of the fan base. But he's tougher than I thought he was, both physically and mentally. He has been through a lot."
Before the start of the 2014 season, then-head coach Gary Andersen benched Stave in favor of Tanner McEvoy, the mobile quarterback that Andersen recruited and was building his program around.
The move came as a surprise to most. That led to the passing yips, which Stave eventually overcame thanks in large part to the perseverance that his dad outlined.
"He felt a lot of personal rejection," Barb Stave said, "and he had to look past what was around him and dig deep into his heart and soul and say, 'Who am I as a person? What can I do? What am I capable of?' We loved him regardless and he turned to all of us.
"But mostly he did it himself. He's a strong young man."
• • • •
Maybe it's only fitting that the Badgers have drawn USC in a bowl since one of the first quarterbacks to pop on Stave's radar as a youngster was Matt Barkley, the former Trojans All-American.
"I was always interested in quarterbacks," Stave said, "and I would look up to all of the big recruits. I read articles about Barkley; he was the biggest quarterback recruit in history, I think."
Everything that Stave read spoke to the importance of enrolling in college early.
"I figured, 'OK, that's what any real competitive quarterback does if you want to get an advantage,'" he said. "So I set up my high school schedule knowing if I do get an opportunity (as an early enrollee), I'd be good to go."
Stave graduated from Whitnall High School at mid-term and enrolled at Wisconsin.
"At the time, it was not the most fun decision I ever made," he said. "I would go on Facebook and see all my high school friends doing fun stuff, high school stuff.
"But I'm glad that I did it because it put me in much better position moving forward. I was able to do some good things that spring and show Coach Bielema and Coach Chryst that I was able to compete and I wasn't just a walk-on.
"That really set me up down the road — not necessarily for the (2011) season. That year was all about Russell Wilson and getting him ready.
"But I went into the next spring ball with some confidence. And the guys on the team had some confidence in me. It wasn't my first crack at trying to play, it was my second."
That spring, the competition was between Stave and Joe Brennan, who later transferred. Budmayr was injured and Curt Phillips was coming off another injury.
"I was able to get a ton of reps," Stave said. "I was able to learn and grow."
Watching how Wilson prepared for games was an education in itself.
"He was as good of a practice player as I've ever seen," Stave said. "You could tell that he got all of his confidence for the game from the week of preparation.
"It was just the way he was able to work with Coach Chryst and Coach Chryst was able to work with him. I took a lot from that."
• • • •
After games this year, Stave would usually wind up at some point during the night at his old residence on Breese Terrace, where he'd hang out with Steffes and Keefer and center Dan Voltz.
His old roomie, Sam Arneson, is still part of the group, too.
"I'm not a big 'good-time' kind of guy," Stave said. "If guys were going out to the bars, I'd go out for maybe an hour or so. Some of the college bars are just so loud and so crowded. I've never been real big into that. I'll go for awhile, see some people, say hi, and head back home."
Bar darts is another story.
"I love it when we get to a bar where there's an open dart board and we've got room to seclude ourselves and just throw darts," he said. "That's when I really start having some fun. Eric (Steffes) is good, Troy (Fumagalli) is good. With them, it's always going to be competitive and a good time."
By his own admission, Stave doesn't get out a lot — on campus.
"To be honest, for the past three years or so, I really don't get outside of my little area between Engineering Hall and the stadium," he said. "I don't go anywhere else throughout the week. All of my classes for the past five semesters have been in that area. So I don't see a ton of people.
"I think a lot of them," he said of his engineering classmates, "know who I am and recognize me and stuff like that. I really like the engineering school because there are a lot of people who are a lot like me. They work hard. They're ready to study. They're focused. I've met a lot of cool guys."
"Looking back, I can't say that I would have wanted it any other way," Stave said. "The fact that I got to start 40 games for this team, for this university — and play with the guys I've been able to play with — has been a blessing and something I will always be very proud of."
Dating back to his freshman year, Stave has roomed with a number of different teammates, including a couple of wide receivers: Kenzel Doe, an early spring enrollee with Stave, and Manasseh Garner, who transferred to Pitt when Chryst left.
"Manasseh was a unique guy but I liked him and we got along well," Stave said. "It was an experience living with him because he had a piranha tank and he'd go to the pet store and get little goldfish and we'd sit there and watch. It was kind of creepy actually."
Especially when the piranha would disable the smaller, quicker fish to slow them down before pouncing on them. Not unlike the way blitzing linebackers and rush ends treat quarterbacks?
Stave ignored the remark, and repeated, "It was creepy, but it was something we'd watch."
Aaron Henry was one of the roommates who had the biggest influence on Stave. Unlike Derek Watt, who played in the same high school conference with Stave, Henry was from Immokalee, Florida, 20 miles from Alligator Alley (Interstate 75) and a long way from Stave's home in Greenfield, a Milwaukee suburb.
"He (Henry) was a senior and I was a freshman," Stave said. "He was an established leader on the team and a captain. He was someone I really looked up to. Just to be able to live with him and see the way he conducted himself off the field and outside of the locker room was cool for me.
"I remember the way he was to the young guys. He was always the first one to help someone out. If you had any questions, you could go to him. He just made people comfortable. Obviously, he was a good player, but what stood out for me was the type of person that he was."
Henry and Stave roomed together at the Regent Apartments. Over the summer, Stave worked at the Regent front desk; he had the midnight until 8 a.m. shift. "When you worked there, you got to live there for free, so I was saving myself some money," said Stave, who was then still a walk-on.
Since he was taking some summer school courses — landscape architecture — he was able to pass the time by doing homework. "Or," he said, "I'd watch episodes of Seinfeld on my computer."
Sometimes the road less traveled, he discovered, is less traveled for a reason.
• • • •
Erickson and Fredrick both agreed that Stave is the ideal teammate.
"He leads by example the way he works every single day," said Erickson. "He's not a rah-rah guy but he's a vocal leader in his own way. He will say what he has to say."
"He's one of those guys" Fredrick said, "that supports everybody on offense, defense, special teams. He's positive all the time. He's there for everybody. And he never blames other people."
Some of it may go back to Henry's mentoring.
"You never want to be the guy," Stave said, "that is too much about themselves with football being the game that it is — you can't do anything without the rest of the guys. Everyone has a huge role in your success. I treat guys the way they should be treated. I treat guys with respect."
And he has earned his.
"He has become more and more of a leader every year," Fredrick said. "He's so confident with what he does and that there's just that feeling in the huddle that he's the man."
Following the Holiday Bowl, Stave will play in the Jan. 23 East-West Shrine Game in St. Petersburg, Florida. His goal is to do everything that he can to earn the respect of the NFL personnel directors and scouts — to take advantage of whatever opportunity that might arise.
"I've heard a lot of people say the college game is more physical whereas the NFL game is more mental," he said. "I think the more mental the game becomes, the more I have an advantage. I know I will work hard at it. I've got good size. I think there's a team out there that can use me."
Erickson doesn't have any doubt that Stave will be successful in whatever he does.
"The success that he's had on the field, all of that stuff is great," Erickson said. "But it's the way he has done it. Doing things the right way. Working hard. Good things happen because of it."
Stave has learned to take the good with the bad.
No one ever claimed that it would be a day at the beach.
"Looking back, I can't say that I would have wanted it any other way," Stave said. "The fact that I got to start 40 games (41 on Wednesday) for this team, for this university — and play with the guys I've been able to play with — has been a blessing and something I will always be very proud of.
"From an academic and athletic standpoint, it's what I wanted. I wanted to be able to get an engineering degree and I was able to. And I wanted to be able to start and compete and play in as many games I have and I was able to do that. In so many ways, it has gone kind of according to plan."
One more win would make it — in Fredrick's words — just almost perfect.
