Wisconsin ‘family’ rallying around Moore family
June 16, 2019 | Men's Basketball, Mike Lucas
Back in Madison after surviving a tragic accident last month, assistant coach Howard Moore feeling support of UW community
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BY MIKE LUCAS
UWBadgers.com Senior Writer
MADISON, Wis. — Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Day by day.
"That's how we've been taking it," Greg Gard said. "There's no playbook for this; no manual."
Moments later, the University of Wisconsin basketball coach acknowledged, "At times, it's so unfathomable. At times, it's seems so surreal."
It has been a little over three weeks since the Memorial Day weekend car accident claimed the lives of assistant coach Howard Moore's wife Jennifer and their nine-year-old daughter, Jaidyn.
Moore and his young son Jerell, 13, survived the crash on M-14 near Ann Arbor, Michigan in the early morning hours of May 25. Both were hospitalized and have since returned to Madison.
"Howard has been amazingly strong throughout this obviously emotional and extremely painful time," said Gard. "He's getting his strength from somewhere and no doubt his faith has been a factor along with knowing Jerell is there for him.
"Jerell will help Howard as much as Howard will help Jerell."
Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Day by day.
"We've had so much support just from the Wisconsin community — it has been unwavering since the time that the news broke — and I know Howard and Jerell and the families have felt that support, too," Gard went on. "There have been so many people who have come forward to help."
That includes from the college basketball fraternity.
"The support has been terrific — as you would expect because Howard is so well-respected," Gard said. "I've heard from almost everyone in our league, and many coaches nationally. There have been other coaches who have gone through it. Or had staff members go through it."
Gard was an assistant on Bo Ryan's staff at UW-Platteville when the Pioneers recorded their first undefeated season in 1995. A few weeks after the Division III championship game, the program was rocked when Gabe Miller, a reliable contributor off the bench, passed away from a ruptured aorta.
"The players go from the highest of highs of winning a national championship to less than a month later, they have a teammate pass away," Gard recounted. "So, I've kind of been down that road a little bit before in terms of a team losing someone.
"But with this one…"
He paused to collect his thoughts.
"We're all going to help Howard and Jerell walk through this journey knowing that life has been forever changed. It puts what we do, our profession, into perspective. There are times when you don't know what to say. You just don't have the right words. And sometimes not having words is OK."
This week, the UW players will be back on campus for the start of summer workouts.
"We had communication with our team right away on that Saturday morning of the accident and we've just tried to be as supportive as possible," Gard said. "Now, we'll get a chance to get with them personally and face-to-face. That hasn't happened yet. It has been all over the phone."
On June 8, the Badgers had their one-day advance camp for high school players at the Kohl Center; the first formal event for the program since the car accident. "All of us within the program," Gard said, "recognized that there was a missing piece and I even addressed the campers on that."
Gard spoke from the heart (as he would this past weekend at the father-son camp).
"Appreciate what you have," he instructed them. "Don't take anything for granted, maximize every opportunity knowing how life can change so fast. Sometimes we get caught up in the frivolous things that at the end of the day don't matter. We get too consumed with those things.
"Enjoy what you're going through and enjoy the people that are going through it with you because you never know what twists and turns lie ahead."
Communication has been a valuable tool.
"We brought everyone associated with our program to our house after the accident and just offered support," Gard said. "It was important for us to get together. We have great resources here at the University to offer our people and players in terms of support sessions and counseling.
"Having people talk about it has been helpful in getting their feelings and emotions out a little. We're a very close group. All of us have kids relatively the same age as Jaidyn. With the traveling we do, and the connection the wives and spouses have with Jen, it's impacted everyone at such a deep level.
"It's way past wins and losses. This is real life."
When Gard got word of the accident, he admitted, "I was in such a fog because everything was happening so fast and we were rushing to get over there (Ann Arbor). You're thinking, 'Man, did this really happen? Did something this horrific really happen?"
When he walked into Moore's hospital room, he recalled, "You don't have words for those moments. I hugged him and held his hand. You offer support in any way you can. Like I said, sometimes no words are the right words and you sit there in silence."
Stan Van Gundy was at Moore's bedside that Saturday night when Gard arrived. Van Gundy, who lives in the Detroit area, was Wisconsin's interim head coach during Moore's senior season as a player. Many of Moore's former teammates have also reached out to him.
"Tracy Webster," Gard said, "flew up from Atlanta to spent time with Howard."
Gard also talked about how Rashard Griffith has taken on a lead role in the heeling.
"He has been terrific," Gard said.
It was Moore who convinced Griffith — after a long professional career overseas — to return to Wisconsin to finish his undergraduate degree which the 44-year-old Griffith is in the process of doing. During his early semesters back in school, Griffith lived with the Moores.
Exposed to Jen's spirit and compassion, along with Jaidyn's innocence and curiosity, the 6-foot-11, 285-pound Griffith has now been a pillar of strength in a time of need for Howard and Jerell.
"I asked Rashard, 'How have you been able to do this?'" Gard said. "And he said, 'Because I know that Howard would do it for me if the roles were reversed.' That's the connectedness, nearly 30 years after they're done playing together. It's a lifelong commitment and brotherhood.
"We often use the word family and it can sound cliché from the outside. But it is a family."
Athletic director Barry Alvarez, former UW head coach Bo Ryan, football coach Paul Chryst, hockey coach Tony Granato, women's basketball coach Jonathan Tsipis, and volleyball coach Kelly Sheffield, among others, flew to Ann Arbor to be there for Moore and Jerell.
"Howard would be the first one to tell you, 'This is what makes Wisconsin what it is,'" Gard said. "Everybody celebrates and shares in the jubilation when things go well, and we have success.
"But also, in the darkest of days, people rally and support each other in a very unique way and that's what makes Wisconsin so special. It has been an outpouring of support."
Nobody is surprised, either. Such is the respect for the Moore family.
"We will be there to support Howard and catch him when he falls," Gard said. "We will be there to rally around him, like we have been and so many others have been."
Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Day by day.
