Admiring from Afar
February 25, 2015 | Women's Basketball
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Feb. 25, 2014
BY MIKE LUCAS
UWBadgers.com
MADISON, Wis. -- Mike and Jackie Gulczynski have traveled countless times from their home in Carol Stream, Illinois, to the Kohl Center to watch their daughter play basketball for the Badgers. But Sunday's trip was different, noticeably different, because it was the last home game for Jacki Gulczynski, one of Wisconsin's seniors.
Mom saw everything Sunday from a different perspective, too.
"This is sad," she said softly. "When I was walking in here, it was freezing and normally I have my head down. I didn't have my head down today. It was like, `I've got to take it all in.' These four years have gone so fast; I can't get over how fast it's gone."
Or how fast their "baby girl" has grown up. "She comes in literally a girl and leaves a woman with a plan of how she wants to live the rest of her life," Mike Gulczynski said with enormous pride, the pride that he shares with his wife, who pointed to the seats that they've occupied for every home game.
Agreeing on the physical transformation of their daughter over the last four years, Jackie Gulczynski wanted the record to also read, "Mentally and emotionally, she was just as strong as a freshman. She had the same morals and values and kept them. I'm in awe of her."
It's reciprocal.
"I've always looked up to my parents," said 21-year-old Jacki Gulczynski, "and I've always looked up to both of my brothers. My older brother was in the Army and my younger brother is going to West Point next year. I look up to them because they're doing something so much bigger than themselves and I can't really think of a greater thing that you can do with your life than give your life to your country."
She meant that literally. Her older brother, Lenny Gulczynski, was killed in a Humvee accident while serving the Army in Iraq. He was 19 on that September day in 2008; she was 15 and a sophomore in high school. She thinks about her brother every day.
"There's really nothing that I'm doing that he's not with me in some way," she said.
Her parents had some metal bracelets made up in his memory, and she wears one on her right wrist. "For games, I have this wristband on my left wrist; so I've got him there, too," she said, adding that her father wears Lenny's dog tags and there's another pair on their mantle in the living room of their home.
Jacki Gulczynski still remembers the day, the day she got the news of her brother's death. "It was right in the middle of adolescence; I wasn't really a kid, I wasn't really an adult yet," she said. "And there's no doubt in my mind that I've been changed through that, I see life differently."
How so? "I care about people in a deeper way," she replied. "I take the relationships that I have to a higher standard. I understand the importance of spending time with my family and my younger brother and the people that I'm close with and I cherish.
"Time is the only gift that we can never get back," she reasoned. "What you do with your time kind of reflects who you are. So spending time with people that you love and that you care about is the greatest gift that you can get." Or give.
Jacki Gulczynski still remembers the anniversary, the one-year anniversary of her brother's death. "We had over 20 soldiers that he served with come to our house," she said, "and they couldn't rave enough about him and how he was so hard-working and dedicated to his job.
"It was a very emotional experience for me and family," she went on. "The service members came to my school and took me out of class. It was like I had 20 brothers -- brothers I barely knew, but we were connected and we're eternally connected by them knowing my brother. It was amazing."
Jacki Gulczynski still remembers the smile, the Lenny Gulczynski smile. "It's the first thing I remember about him -- his smile -- he had such an infectious smile," she said. "He was a strong guy, inside and out. He had a tough exterior, but if you got to know him, he was just a teddy bear."
Jacki Gulczynski still remembers the letters, the letters her mom encouraged her to write to her brother. "I'd tell her, `No, I don't want to write him a letter that takes too much time,"' she recalled. "Now when I look back, I'm glad that I have a couple of notes and letters written back and forth."
While she keeps whatever correspondence that she had with him "so dear" to her heart, she confided, "I haven't read those letters yet, I don't think I'm ready to." In the next breath, she said, "I just really wish that he could have had the opportunity to see me play college basketball."
He would have been impressed. Gulczynski has been a four-year fixture in the Wisconsin lineup, a starter in 85 of the last 86 games. She has been more steady than spectacular during her career. But she's had special moments. Like the 32 points that she scored against Ohio State in 2013.
"He (Lenny) had to sit through all of my tournaments when I was younger, but he never got to see me at this level," she reiterated. "He only saw one of my high school games. Sometimes, I wonder if he would be wearing a Wisconsin hat over there (in Iraq) and smiling?"
She knows the answer to that last question, of course.
Now that her younger brother, Mike, Jr., is planning on attending West Point, she has some other questions about his commitment. "Of course, I do," she said. "But it's a little farther out of our minds right now because he still has four more years of school before he goes into the actual military."
Mike Gulczynski had questions of his own about his youngest son's decision. "I said, `You're putting me and your mom in a tough position because we would be proud that you would want to honor your brother in that way -- yet, we're scared because we've lost your brother,'" he related.
But just like they did with Lenny, they're backing him 100 percent.
Like they have backed Jacki as a student-athlete at Wisconsin.
"Being an engineering student," Dad said, "I don't know how she does it to be honest."
"She's a classy kid," Mom said. "She has adapted to everything with poise and energy."
Jacki isn't quite sure, though, what the next year will bring on campus, sans hoops.
"I've never been a normal student," said Gulczynski, who will graduate in May of 2016 in civil and environmental engineering. "Even throughout high school, I played three sports year round. I don't think I can stay away from the game of basketball too long without coming back and playing.
"My plan is to work up in the (women's basketball) office and still be around our coaching staff. If they ever need an extra practice player, I'd love to help out in any way if I can. It's going to be sad when I'm done because I don't know what I'm going to do with my time. I'll get my basketball fix somehow."
Reflecting on her four years and 111 career games, Gulczynski said, "I feel my legacy is hard work; somebody who's dedicated to the program. I've given all I can to this team and to this school and athletic department. I can't say that I have any regrets. I don't think I do.
"It has been an amazing experience throughout -- wins, losses, however it has gone. I've been surrounded by great people, amazing teammates, and a great coaching staff. No, I have no regrets. It has taught me a lot of life lessons.
"It has taught me dedication and a work ethic that you don't know unless you've been through something like this or to this caliber as a student-athlete. I don't know if people realize how much time goes into this."
Gulczynski can sum up her motivation with one of her favorite quotations.
Confucius says, "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
It was quote that she recited accurately and without hesitation when prompted out of the blue.
"I feel like I had such an experience where I fell -- really far," she said. "It has been an uphill battle climbing back. But after going through such a traumatic experience, there's nothing that I know of that I can't overcome; nothing that's ever going to be up that standard of difficulty of losing someone that I loved. So anything is attainable with the right attitude."
You wonder now if she's visualizing Lenny wearing that cap with the Motion W and smiling when she's saying, "I think he'd be proud of the woman that I have become."
